Long Journey

Today, I have set my soul free.
My soul has awaken me,
from a long journey of emotions that
i can't bear anymore.
Today, I found myself looking into
that crystal ball of dreams and hopes
that have been shattered so long ago.
I asked myself why have
i allowed you to hurt me for so long,
in so many ways that you could never see or
feel the suffering that my soul has felt.
I thought I was strong enough to change you but
the only person I was changing was myself
I thank you for this long journey
because you made me stronger
to accept that is time
to let you go and to accept that
things will never changes
I finally see that after this long journey

by Nicole DiNatale

True To My Heart

As the song goes I tell u to be true
And I have not been true to you
I don?t know why but eventually when I am true
My heart leads me to you.

I wonder if you ever noticed this
But I love u at school home and when we are dismissed
You turn me on till I have a power surge
That now my feeling towards you starts to emerge.

I guess what I?m trying to say is that I really never knew it
But I love u and that?s all, if I leave you ill have a fit
But no worries you will always be in my heart
No matter how far apart

by Luana Horry

Sometimes...

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there,to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson,or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be possibly your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be,
life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count...

Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish.

Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
Most importantly, if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day you live.

How Much Do Looks Really Matter?

When it comes to your looks during a first impression, over 200 Lovingyou.com users told us they matter... and a lot! In fact, the top three items mentioned that they notice first when they see the opposite sex are purely physical elements. If you don't find yourself that attractive, or even if you do, we've got some great tips to help you improve your "first impression look" with the opposite sex! Below you'll find the top ten things Lovingyou.com users notice first about the opposite sex and ways you can improve it!

1. The Eyes
Often cited as the windows to the soul, the eyes were given as the number one feature you notice first! How do you improve it? If you're a woman, get out the books and fashion magazines and research some tips on making your eyes sparkle. If you're a guy, or if you are not big on make up, try these tips that always makes the eyes look great:
  • Get enough sleep. Red around the eyes is not very attractive.
  • Get your eyebrows shaped. The eyebrows are often over-looked, but if shaped properly can add a whole new dimension to your eyes.
  • Look directly at the person you are talking with. It shows your confident, and that you interested in them as person.
2. Your Smile
You can tell how open and loving a person is by their smile. And, if that special someone's curved, gorgeous lips are directed towards you... watch out! Improving this is as easy as taking care of your lips. Keep them out of the sun, or protected, and be real when you smile. Remember the instant turn off, a fake smile.

3. The Face
The attraction to the face is fairly self-explanatory. If that special someone doesn't like looking at it, then you're going to have problems! To keep your face looking great, keep it clean and protected from the sun. Find some products that work best for you and USE them!

4. Your Personality
Your personality is something that can't quite be changed unless you want it to be. So be comfortable with who you are, and the people who are around will be comfortable with you to!

5. Your Hair
There is something about running your fingers through silken locks of hair than can drive both men and woman alike crazy. If you don't feel confident about your hair, take a trip to the salon and find a style you really like. This is one area where it may be worth the extra money to get something really great!

6. Your Figure
The only thing that can help you here is good old fashion exercise and healthy eating. Or, a great self-image! :) Don't be fooled into thinking you have to have "the perfect body" either! Being confident about who you are is more than enough for someone who's worth having!

7. Your Posture
Someone who slouches, or walks with their head down is easy to associate with laziness or lack of ambition. Therefore, your posture is incredibly important when it comes to first impressions. To improve your posture, try stretching daily and/or a visit to your chiropractor.

8. Your Mouth
Your mouth is an easy target for desirability. Soft, full lips just beg to be kissed. Keep your lips in top shape by following the advice for your smile!

9. Your Clothes
Your clothes, are like a window to your personality. The care and the time you take (or lack of) on selecting your clothes lets other people know what you are like. Depending on what you wear, they also help you attract certain types of people.

10. Your Hands
There is something about hands that seem to attract many people. Maybe it's the thought of being protected, or sharing an intimate moment with another person. Whatever the passion, you can keep your hands looking great by keeping your nails well groomed and clean, and protecting your skin with lotion and/or sun screen.

The Steps To Breaking Up

Just the words, break up, indicate a situation riddled with impending pain and loss. Even if both parties involved agree it is in their best interests to part romantic ways, there is still a certain amount of loss attached. The best way to approach a break up is to offer the person, to the best of your ability, a clean and clear separation. While there is no definitive way to do this, hear are a few guidelines that may help you.

1 - Specific Reasons
Don't let them wonder what went wrong. Give them the exact specific reason why you want to break up. It will give them an opportunity to really evaluate what they've done to contribute to the demise of the relationship, and hopefully apply their knowledge to their next one.

2 - Where To Do It
If you think they will be terribly upset, try a public place that will afford you some privacy, but will deter your partner from possibly "acting up." If at all possible, try to do it some place you can be alone to really talk things through. Avoid places that contain happy memories from your relationship. You don't want to spoil them.

3 - How To Do It
While following guideline #1 is important, you also want to make sure you are not damaging their ego either. Make it clear to them that the relationship isn't working for you both because you expect different things from the relationship, or that you've reached a line that you don't feel you can cross back over. Take extra care in your choice of wording, but never lie.

4 - After The Break Up
Your first meetings after a break up can be strained, at best. If you don't feel you'll be comfortable being around them until your emotions are more under control, try a cold turkey break up. Agree neither of you will have contact with each other for an agreed amount of time. Make sure you agree on the set amount of time during the break up process, or the ideal of remaining friends after may diminish.

Your other option is to try a sliding scale approach. Agree to only call or see each other once or twice a week, and slowly narrow it down from there. Agree not to talk about certain things like wishing you were back together, or whether you are seeing anyone new, etc.

If you must remain in contact with them because of school, work or family it is important to remain mature about the situation. Don't run out and date everyone. Allow your partner some breathing room and time to digest their newly found situation. Also, avoid gossiping about what went wrong. It just makes everything ugly.

5 - Trial Separation
If you are unsure about wanting a permanent break up, try a trial one instead. To signify your commitment to trying to work things out, arrange an agreed upon dating schedule with your partner, maybe once a week. Arrange for the exact dates and times when you are asking for the separation!
Remember, no matter how you do it, or what you say, if you are completely honest with yourself and your partner you both will be able to move on and grow from your experience. Like the common phrase says, "If it was meant to be, it will be."

Living Together Before Marriage

Recently we received a request for viewpoints on whether people should live together before getting married. Well, after I was chosen as the lucky recipient of this task, I realized that every single person I knew had lived together before they got married. My wife and I lived together for about 3 months and out of all my friends, that was the shortest time. In fact, the only people I know that did not live together are my parents and they had an arranged marriage in India. Basically, my first thought on the subject was, "You mean there are people that don't live together before they get married?" So, I decided to scrap my pre-conceived ideas and look into the pros and cons of living together before marriage.

When looking into how to write this piece, I wrestled with whether or not to include the religious aspect of living together. The fact that it is a religious sin in most of the main stream religions is the most common argument I have found against living together. The reasons it is classified as a sin are numerous but, most prevalent, is the fact that living together and having pre-marital sex go hand in hand. Now, although this is a profound and compelling argument if you subscribe to those religious beliefs, my own viewpoint on this is far more practical. For me, living with my wife prior to marriage was for 3 reasons: Firstly, I could not wait to be with her. We met over the Internet and I was living in the UK at the time. I knew I loved her and had no doubts at all that I would spend the rest of my life with her. As Billy Crystal says in 'When Harry Met Sally', when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible! I quit my job, sold or gave away everything I could not take on a plane and flew out to San Diego. The second reason for us was that it was an economic necessity. With the expenses involved in getting married, it was impractical and illogical for me to stay in a hotel or furnish a new apartment. Thirdly, I am sure everyone will agree that the switch from an Internet romance to real life can be stressful at the best of times. In our case, it was prudent to live together for a while before we finally decided to get married as we did not have the luxury of real life dating to take the time to fully get to know each other. As it happens, everything worked out great between us and we will have been very happily married for two years in November.

This is not the only reason I feel this way. I have known people that have been living together for years and, from that experience, found out who their partner really was and that marriage was not right for them. There are things that you cannot really find out about a person until you live with them and if you are pressured into marrying the person, you may find out later that you have made a big mistake

Building Your Self-Esteem

Is self-esteem a crucial ingredient for a happy, healthy long-term relationship? To answer simply, yes! For a more in-depth reason as to why, let's take look at what self-esteem actually means.

Self-esteem is a feeling of pride in yourself. It is feeling worthy of your own AND another's respect. In a relationship, no other trait has more value concerning the way we perceive each other's actions. If your sense of self-esteem is off, you are more prone to see things incorrectly and judgmentally. If you're always worried that people will see you for the worthless thing you feel you are, then chances are your perspectives on situations will slant towards the negative.

People who are truly comfortable with themselves are naturally going to be comfortable with other people. It doesn't stop there. A healthy dose of self-esteem does more than just make you feel good. It makes you an actual, equal partner in a relationship. Therefore, if you've been grappling with issues of insecurity and self-doubt you will find the following six golden rules to a healthy self-esteem of immense value to you. Read through these ideals and discover ways you can integrate them into your life. They may be just the right amount of insight for you to finally find the happiness you deserve.

1: Only Make Commitments You Know You Can Meet
One only has to become burdened down with overwhelming, hopeless tasks to understand this principle fully. Do not agree to do more than you are capable of. Doing so just makes everything you attempt feel like a failure. Soon or later, those feelings are going to start making you doubt yourself. To correct this path of self-doubt, first finish everything you've started. Then, take a look at new projects you'd like to tackle…one-at-a-time. If taking on too much is a problem area for you, try using this system. Most people can expect to do two undertakings extremely well. When you start adding on a third, a fourth or even more, each activity or undertaking suffers to the degree you are overburdened. A perfect example of this is the person who is attending college and working full-time. If they choose to do extremely well in both of these endeavors, you will usually find their social, family or other life areas lacking.

2: Let Your Creativity Rule
The only way to know how well you do something is to actually do it. Creativity plays a large part in the level of self-esteem we each contain. If you allow your creativity to direct you to new experiences without invalidating it, you may discover a new and more resourceful you. Creativity also plays a practical role, in addition to its naturally whimsical nature. For instance, instead of focusing on the problems of your life, learn to trust your instincts and your creative attributes to find the perfect solutions. To fully develop this characteristic, take one creative idea a week and actually do it. It could be anything from a desire to learn a new hobby or to finding a simple way of doing an old task. Just make sure you do something!

3: Look At The Bright Side of Things
It is extremely difficult to find respect in others or ourselves if we continually focus on the negative things that are happening around us. No matter where we are, or what is going on around us there will always be unpleasantness in our world. Dwelling on it isn't going to make those things disappear. No one is asking for you to live your life with blinders on, but rather to realize that true living is actually living moment-to-moment. It shouldn't be spent focusing on how things may hurt us, or who's done what to us, or even why things have happened. The only occurrence you can hope to achieve by this is a life that has fallen short of your expectations. Instead, take time to notice one positive aspect about everything that happens in your life. If you can learn to trust in yourself fully, you will realize that circumstances enter your life for a reason. Maybe, you need to learn a valuable lesson or you are being steered away from something that would have been harmful for you. Don't underestimate the power of positive thinking.

4: Be Honest With Yourself And Others
The quickest way to losing your self-esteem is through dishonesty. How can you ever hope to feel confident in yourself if you are always worried about what someone may find out? Being dishonest, even holding back a truth, opens the door to nagging self-doubt and insecurities. Do yourself a huge favor AND save a lot of needless worrying by just staying true to yourself and others.

5: Acknowledge Yourself
I feel a rather large and undeserved amount of time is spent on getting other people to acknowledge us. While a "Hey, you did great!" feels wonderful, we shouldn't get in the habit of expecting it from people. No one needs someone else to tell him or her that what they've done is valid or true. Deep down we all know if it is. Whatever you do, learn to feel confident and trusting about your own abilities, without the opinion of a third party.

6: Never Devalue Yourself
If you want people to learn to respect you and your wishes, you have to learn to respect yourself first. If you are being asked to do something, or you'd like to try something new, don't belittle yourself to the point of not attempting it. How do you know if you'll have talent in an area or not? Every time you think something negative about yourself, outweigh it with a more positive self-thought.

Thoughts To Ponder:
"He who sets a very high value upon himself has the less need to be esteemed by others." -Samuel Butler

"Tackling a job that seems worth doing, and doing it in a competent manner, is…the best way for a person to gain self-esteem." -John Holt

"Self-control and self-esteem vary directly: The more self-esteem a person has, the greater, as a rule, is his desire, and his ability, to control himself. The desire to control others and self-esteem vary inversely: the less self-esteem a person has, the greater, as a rule, is his desire and his ability, to control others." -Thomas S. Szasz

13 Signs You're About To Get Dumped

Want to know if your relationship is about to hit the skids?

Looking for tell-tale signs that your love will last through next week?

Well, look no further. Below you'll find the "Unlucky 13" -13 warning signs you're about to get dumped.

We surveyed a variety of experts to find the most common warning signs a person is about to get dumped --including psychologists, body language experts, graphologists, private investigators and a divorce attorney. And here's what we found:

1. Is it romantic Armageddon, or uncomfortable shoes?
Where the toes point, the heart follows. According to body language expert Patti Wood, MA, CSP, you should, "look at your sweetie's feet when you are out with other people." She says, "if they are pointed at you, great." If they're pointed at someone else, your partner may be looking to walk.

2. You're starting to feel like a telemarketer.
Is your sweetie anxious to end phone conversations right away? A person who knows she's going to end the relationship with you, but hasn't done so yet will be itching to get off the phone with you. If she is talking to you, but not adding anything to the conversation it's sign she is heading towards the finish line. She's probably just pacing herself.

3. He's no longer interested in sex, or worse, he has a new bag of tricks and a trapeze with the tags still on it.
A dramatic change in sexual behavior can mean two things:

a) He wants to avoid any situation where he might have to express emotion or attachment to you, or

b) He's getting it somewhere else.

4. He avoids talking about the future.
We're not just talking the general, garden-variety aversion that men have to discussing relationships. We're talking about a man who avoids having one of those "we have to talk" talks like it's a shot of the Plague. As for the future, when next Thursday seems like too much of a commitment, it could be because he's trying to extricate himself by Wednesday night.

5. He says, "I need some space" or "I think we should see other people."
According to psychologist Jesse Rabinowitz, Ph.D, people don't usually want to hurt someone else, so they use "exit strategies." By telling you he wants to see other people, he's not technically breaking up with you (so no big crying scene to endure) but he's given himself a way out. Of course, the second he gets a little distance, he's going to make a run for it.

6. If she's looking left, something's not right.
According to Bill Raduenz, private investigator, a person who looks up into the air and to the left when she speaks to you is "not being truthful." The look left is an indication we're using the "creative" side of our brains and a good indicator she's telling you a whopper.

7. He gives you that little pat on the back.
Watch out for this one. A person who gives you a hug while patting you on the back is indicating that they are uneasy. According to Raduenz, the "hand pat" on the back indicates someone is uncomfortable with what they're doing. The bigger the pat, the more discomfort they feel.

There's more. Another important sign that things may not be going well is the amount of contact during a hug. Full frontal contact is good. The one-shoulder hug, or pulling away in other areas could be a sign the person is "distancing" in the relationship. If it's a new relationship, the other person may not be quite ready for that level of physical contact. If it's an established relationship, it could be a sign the person is pulling away, or getting ready to break off the relationship.

8. You don't like what you see in the mirror.
People mirror each other's body language when they are in love with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. If you're noticing the two of you are out of sync, you probably are.

That's not all. According to body language expert Wood, a person who is about to dump you will display a lack of open "windows" towards you. "Windows" being his heart, eyes, neck and palms. If your man turns his heart (the center of his chest) away from you as you are talking to each other, it's a big sign he's not interested.

9. You see the writing on the wall.
According to graphologist Karen Weinberg, QDE, a person who is thinking of ending a relationship will show clues in her handwriting. When writing the word "love" she may begin to drop down the letter "e." Another sign to watch for is if your partner diminishes the size of your name (sign of your importance to her.)

10. Every normal person should know which way the toilet paper goes...
If she's picking silly fights, or there's an unusual increase in emotional distance, you've got bad news. According to Melvyn Frumkes, an attorney specializing in divorce, "a person who picks nonsensical arguments is trying to get the other person (you) to make the first move."

11. He keeps you waiting. And waiting. And waiting.
"Time is an important non-verbal communicator," says Wood. If he keeps you waiting, it's a sign his interest is waning, and a sign of disrespect.

This is true for dates as well. If he starts waiting until the very last minute to make date plans with you, it's likely he's lost interest, or he's hoping something better will come along and he's using you as a back-up.

12. She buys a personal pager, or a pre-paid cell phone.
This is bad news. Just about every private investigator in the book will tell you the pager purchase is a sign of impending heartbreak. Sure, it could be for work, but more likely, she's using it to get a head start on her post-you life. Beep Beep - Bye Bye.

13. He used to be a three-blue-shirts-and-four-pair-of-Chinos kind of guy, and suddenly he's obsessed with Armani.
According to Attorney Mel Frumkes, a person who is about to leave (or is cheating) will take greater care with his appearance - updating his wardrobe, losing weight, working out and even changing cologne. If your sweetie looks like he just finished taping an episode of "A Makeover Story" - Those Chinos might not be the only dud he's looking to lose.

Want to know when you're most likely to get the axe? Most experts agree it's somewhere in the neighborhood of the first 3-5 months. So, stock up on tissues and Ben & Jerry's if you're heading into the danger zone.

Only time (and his shoes) will tell.

5 Flirting Tips For Dating Success

Flirting is not rocket science. It is simply a common sense method of letting people know you’re available without being tacky or obnoxious. AND… if done properly, it is your best chance at snagging your future partner! So, get ready to demystify the art of flirting with these five fabulous flirting tips. Practice your new moves on the object of your desire this weekend…

1: Be Sincere
If you’re going to flirt, you need to be real about it. Anyone can spot a fake a mile away. If you’re feeling insecure about your flirting skills, don’t start with your secret crush since the 10th grade. Begin in a situation you are most comfortable with. If you’re going to pay compliments to someone, be sincere about them. Really mean what you are saying and your results will be well worth the effort.

2: Smile
A smile is the simplest form of flattery. It shows that you are genuinely interested in the other person, and for that one single moment they are the only thing on your mind. Never underestimate the power of a smile.

3: Touch
Touch is an obvious sign of interest. Used correctly it can be a subtle way of getting a person’s undivided attention. Rest a hand on their arm or on their knee when you are talking. Engage in activities that promote touch, such as dancing. Just be careful not to appear too flirtatious. The last thing you want to do is send the wrong signals.

4: Hold Eye Contact
How do you make the object of your affection weak in the knees? Hold that meaningful gaze for just a few seconds longer than normal. Show them you’re not one to turn away from something great!

5: Be Interested In Them
Want to know if they are worthy of your undivided attention? Find out more by asking them open-ended questions about themselves. Show off your flirting skills by showing them you are actually listening to what they are saying.

Bonus Tip:
Don’t forget to show your appreciation for the person spending time with you. Always thank the person you are with, and let them know if you had a good time with them. A little politeness goes a long way to making you the next catch of the day.

Top 10 Signs They're Interested In You

Wondering if that particular someone has more than a little friendship in mind? Check out our top ten list of ways people indicate whether they are interested in you or not.
  1. They seem interested in anything and everything you have to say.
  2. The way they talk to you.
  3. They frequently show public displays of affection.
  4. They frequently try to talk to you.
  5. They compliment you a lot.
  6. They flirt with you.
  7. They ask a lot of questions about you.
  8. They try to spend as much time with you as possible.
  9. They frequently call you.
  10. The way they constantly look at you.

From Friends To Lovers

When it comes time to search for the right way to express your innermost feelings to someone you respect, admire and have now come to love don't let doubt and insecurity get in your way. In a Lovingyou.com poll we asked readers to tell us how they would tell a friend they were interested in becoming more than friends. The most-cited response was to just be honest and tell your friend how you feel.

For some this may seem like a huge barrier. Confronting your friend may result in possibly losing the value of your friendship. On the other hand, the result could be something dreams are made of. The only real fact is that there's only one sure way to find out. When you're ready to take the plunge, find the right angle that's perfect for you with these tips and advice from other readers.

"I have been in this situation, and I sent him an e-card that described my feelings. It worked and I found out that the feelings were mutual."
--Ramel

"I would tell them face to face, then maybe kiss them to show them what they are missing!"
--Cheryl Cooke

"First, spend some time with them to see what kind of 'more-than friend' they like. Then just be straight and tell them how you feel. This can be very embarrassing to start with. If they don't feel the same way, it may take some time for them to be comfortable to 'just be friends,' so give them some time, then just be friends until another opportunity arises."
--Kristen

"I would write him a letter on scented letter paper expressing my feelings toward him."
-Karen

"I would start treating and making him feel more special than others."
--Amie

"I would basically hint to him by spending more time with him, and paying him extra compliments. If he doesn't pay any heed to it, I'll know he's not interested, and value the friendship."
--Lisa

"My boyfriend and I were best friends before we were a couple. He actually told me gradually through e-cards and then in a survey e-mail. We talked about it and I shared my feelings and that's how we got together. In March it will be 2 years and I've never been more happy!"
--Allyson

"Look into her eyes and say, 'We've been close friends for so long and have shared so many thoughts and tears. I think we have a great relationship. I would like somehow, to be more than a friend to you.'"
--Windell

"I would send her a poem with my heart's feelings and then go and see her in person and tell her how I feel for her."
--Jim

"Invite them to a romantic dinner for two at my house and cook all of their favorites."
--R. McCloskey

"I would gently and slowly kiss him on all four corners of his mouth in a romantic moment that they were not exactly expecting and look deeply into his eyes waiting for a response."
--Rose

"Well first, I would want to make sure that they like me by paying more attention to the body language and verbal language that they are giving me. Then if I feel like they are interested in me also...then I would talk to them alone, in person, and tell them of how I feel for them. I would also tell them that I would need to know how they feel for me, no matter what those feelings might be."
--Nicole

"I'm a firm believer in that it's not necessarily what you say, but what you do. All you have to do to let a guy know you're interested is pay extra special attention to what is going on in his life. If he is going to have a big meeting or a big day at work, give him a card or a note wishing him good luck. He will quickly realize that not only do you care more for him than he thought, but he will find himself falling for all of the "little things" that truly matter in relationships."
--Anonymous

"This actually happened to me. I started flirting a little every time I saw him, and then he went away for a weekend to see friends, I flirted even more when he got back. Finally he got the hint. We are now together and happy as ever."
--Kelly

"Send him a love letter signed secret admirer."
--Nosiph

"Send them roses and on the card put only a question mark followed by your name."
--Andy

"Well, I sure have been there. And it was hard, I ended up falling in love with him and not ever telling him. Thankfully though, somehow we got together through fate, I believe. What I would have done differently was just tell him. It would have saved us a lot of time."
--Sheila

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